Where am I now, Where I am now

Now it's nearing the end of the year. How is it that most people use this time for retrospection and reflection? Is it because Christmas and the New Year is coming? Christmas brings gatherings and thanksgivings. And the New Year brings new year resolutions and new beginnings.

As much as I think that time is a continuum (something continual, don't count me for the physics), I too fall into the retrospective mood.

It is a nice feeling. It started with a random search of a photo to post on instagram. A scroll through the phone and a random stop. It ended up being a photo of us happy travellers in the snowy mountain top somewhere in Ladakh, India (ST, Shu, myself and T.).  Playing among the falling snow :)

2018, I have a new family member
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I'll be having my very first niece too! (First direct/ nuclear family niece) It sure is exciting!

I can't wait to shift into my new house with T. and little T.

How my heart bursts with excitement and joy. And inevitably a little bit of trepidation on the changes that will come :)

I hope I still am able to stay spiritual, in spirit. Haha. Considering that I haven't exactly been meditating. Meditating doesn't have to be on the cushion right? Sometimes bad thoughts come, and I am able to bring awareness to it. I don't have to explain to myself why I have them. I can take steps to be mindful and strengthen my awareness :) (Or ability to step back and bring up awareness)

...

So now it's been about 2 years in my current household with all my lovely family-in-law members. I'm about to shift out, and hey. Am I to be happy or sad? ;)
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Discernment

Saturday was spent at PMT. It was heartening to see Violy, Wai Kit, and Sharon, and to hear the dhamma. Kor shared about Right View. And I received a book - Discernment. 

I think it's a book I can bring on the upcoming honeymoon.

Fly away!

I'm blessed to have my family as my spiritual friends. 

My takeaways from Kor's sharing: Right View has to be fabricated. And so is the spiritual path. Don't abandon the raft. Cling onto it with dear life, because the path is important.

I'm looking forward to the next sharing :)

a sunday kind of love

It's time for some review and reflection. I've attended some beneficial courses very recently: BSM (Building Strong Marriages); and The Influence Advantage (by Charisma Academy).


My key area of development now is how to practise assertiveness. It was a pleasant surprise how the Influence Advantage built upon the concepts on assertiveness that BSM had set the foundation, complementing each other.


The lesson from BSM was: assertiveness with kindness. In the Influence Advantage (IA), it was a practical model that was taught and definitely very applicable. The Z model of positive evaluation, negative evaluation, stating expectations, positive consequence, negative consequence. What really was helpful is the phrases I can use to express this expectation. "It would help if you could..." Though the phrases that were taught were "I'd like you to do this by..."; "I expect you to..." which probably would be applicable more for work than for personal relationships IMO.


The thing about stating expectations, is to state clearly and directly what I want. Which means I have to know exactly what I want. This need to convey exactly what I want, will definitely clear out my inner noise.


To be a good influencer, fickle mindedness is not one of her qualities. That's one thing I've got to try and kick out of my closet. (or my head).