my heart is bursting. like a gargantuas starburst.

omgg. you sweep me off my feet.


i dunno what to sayyy.
thanx for the sunflower! xD
simply dumbfounded.
it might not be much but it's got me dumbfounded.




yanning is that you btw? hahhah. don't put anonymous can! scares me much. :X

freefalll

it's amazing. i like the feeling :D






i had no idea how much i had held back was because of you.  x)


i'm always touched that you had once been interested in me though.


now it feels like freefall all the way.
yesterday was a happy day. we talked endlessly. hahah. even at the platform we could have went on. and you were like : "don't tell me now over the platform arh!" when we had been seperated by the railway line at tanah merah :D


i look at you and think: you're the one:]
the one whom i'll let my heart break over.




exams are coming crystal pls study you have less than 2 weeks.

this ain't a love song this is goodbye

we rode in the rain. haaah. mm. romantic? if it had been a love scene it would have been pretty darn romantic. albeit very crazy. but its not. i really didn just wanna "meet below the block" -.- but of all places we chose you picked tt place. sth that i wouldn't forget really. your plan a, plan b, and plan c locations if it had not rained. we still went with it anw.

the jewel box was so nice :O one of the most romantic chill out places i've seen. but of course we weren't going there lah. since i was in slippers especially. you still tell me to wear teeshirt and shorts when you wore berms and loafers. we just hung around. and walked up and down :O cause i felt too awkward if we had just sat down to talk.

i was half holding back with him because i was afraid if i had left anything hanging with you. the "what are you doing crystal" feeling. your blessing had meant so much, i had no idea the extent, nor that i had even been looking for it in the first place. there was a part of me that was holding back because i felt that i had to let you know beforehand. to be fair. so that i won't get nightmares and won't have to worry if you'll be fine.

but you knew! somehow. all along ever since that mambo night when everything transiently met at a crossroad. how embarassing though. i had nooo idea the i had looked that overdressed, and its implications. hmm. ohwell. inthepastinthepast.

but recently you were so nice. and forthcoming. its as though you felt you no longer had anything to lose. i was extremely surprised when you said you were actually at the mrt station. like "pop" there you appeared out of nowhere. and you had waited for like what.. half an hour? deep down i was touched cause i had thought "come'on crystal, you're not that important pls -.-" so  i didn dare suspect anything. i thought you had been out for supper or sth. but your appearance there just proved me wrong just when i was thinking who was i for ppl to do that anyway.

i'm so glad we had that meeting. even though initially i had doubts: ok this talk is not going to work out cause i dun even know how to start. maybe i'll just leave it to AFT you come back.
the procrastination alarms bells rang off; i knew i can't keep putting it off.

its like a knot in my heart that i've released. thanks steph for suggesting that talking face to face really would be better. it indeed is, i feel like i dun even have to pass him the msges anymore. and really certain things i'm just thinking too much:) nvr would have known if i had just passed him the stupid msges and left it as it is.

everything still feels the same between me and you:) just that now i know how to frame what i have between you and me.


___________________



meeting you to study today. x)

and after finding reasons not to like you, yet i think i still do.



saturday 23rd october. huiqi's fabulous hotel suite party.

                                   met you after that. thought you were waiting hahaha but its just that you were still out.
                                   sat and talked about random stuff along the river.
                                   you didn agree it'll be strange to get tog w someone one has
                                   known for so long. but it was subtle and we didn talk about it.
                                  cam whored at the bus stop. when you got too close it wasnt comfortable.
                                
sunday 24th october. nike run. i was late. the run was great.

monday. you bought me warm soya bean milk for reporting stats lecture in the morning. it was a chilly day.
you gave me a lunch box with peanut butter bread in it. would have been a lifesaver had i have had trg tt night.. 

wednesday 27th october. kaya + jam bread. started to think alot about things. something was bothering me and chris was on my mind.

thursday 28th october. steph i think you talked to me. made me feel better. realised what had been bugging me. i felt better that i've decided not to pass the msges to him but to meet him and talk face to face.

friday 29th october. stayed in the school library with you and suping till late to do remote sensing project.
                               it was 10pm plus. said you wanna bring me to have the ee mian, i knew it would be closed anw but you still wanted to give it a shot. we reached at 11 and ended up at chang jiang(?) (below the chinatown central w the famous fishhead.) had fishhead beehoon which was good. and porridge. dinner that night was unintentionally on you it seemed :X had said i'll return you the money on monday cause i had no small change but i forgot when monday came.

saturday 30th october. halloween party. i think i was too sticky cause i kept msging.
you had a sweet tongue that night. over sms. i wasn't quite convinced cause of the way you acted after that when i got into the cab. although it had only been one sms.

words were that easy for you.
i feel that they may not be the truth. words are just words. feels like you had said it just for the sake of saying it.

sunday 31st october. spoke to anh. spoke to brother.
i'm reconsidering my situation, and have decided to not be so gullible.



yesterday. you bought the big fourleaves bread. i hadn't really wanted to eat it but i still took it since you bought 2. wanted to pay you yet you didn want. -.- placed a bottle of 100plus in my bag. but i don't like drinking 100plus :X hahah. so you drank half and more.

-ran on the treadmill at cardio lab. that was quite fun. the lab ppl were uber nice. sharon, jason, zul.

today. you bought a tube of maom sweets. it was in my pencil box. i feel that you've been used to doing these kinda things in the past.