It's time for some review and reflection. I've attended some beneficial courses very recently: BSM (Building Strong Marriages); and The Influence Advantage (by Charisma Academy).
My key area of development now is how to practise assertiveness. It was a pleasant surprise how the Influence Advantage built upon the concepts on assertiveness that BSM had set the foundation, complementing each other.
The lesson from BSM was: assertiveness with kindness. In the Influence Advantage (IA), it was a practical model that was taught and definitely very applicable. The Z model of positive evaluation, negative evaluation, stating expectations, positive consequence, negative consequence. What really was helpful is the phrases I can use to express this expectation. "It would help if you could..." Though the phrases that were taught were "I'd like you to do this by..."; "I expect you to..." which probably would be applicable more for work than for personal relationships IMO.
The thing about stating expectations, is to state clearly and directly what I want. Which means I have to know exactly what I want. This need to convey exactly what I want, will definitely clear out my inner noise.
To be a good influencer, fickle mindedness is not one of her qualities. That's one thing I've got to try and kick out of my closet. (or my head).
