Today is a major wake up call for you CRYSTAL!!
what have you been doing? feelings of uncertainty has gotten you nowhere.
it feels like a kick in the ass. pushed out of my shelter and cocoon. I wanna remember this feeling right here, right now.
i wanna harness this momentum to keep moving on till i get there to the next stage!! before i rot and die a novice weakling who finds herself giving up/letting go more than pushing on.
PUSHING ONN, HOLDING THE NEXT TILE, WORKING YOUR BRAINNN TO FIGURE THE NEXT MOVE. it felt good. i cud hold on if i want to. next up is getting myself to do it. this is it.
this energy, it feels enough to want to self mutilate. perhaps its this feeling that i've been abandoned and i'm on my own. i dun have to account to ANYBODY, but myself.
it first hit me like a feeling of abandonment. then he has given up teaching/coaching me -- i've been banished! out of his "family"
never have i felt this energy coursing through my system - to push myself.
of course reality is only so much as we perceive it to be.
when training ended, the release of emotion felt great. Hien was more than i thought:)
Crystal, you're on your own, and you wanna get there.
pls remember this multitude of feelings right here and now, what you're feeling, and this energy that is bursting out. its like a pin. focus it and it'll be able to penetrate and execute!
to burst into the butterfly before you wither and die.
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