we rode in the rain. haaah. mm. romantic? if it had been a love scene it would have been pretty darn romantic. albeit very crazy. but its not. i really didn just wanna "meet below the block" -.- but of all places we chose you picked tt place. sth that i wouldn't forget really. your plan a, plan b, and plan c locations if it had not rained. we still went with it anw.
the jewel box was so nice :O one of the most romantic chill out places i've seen. but of course we weren't going there lah. since i was in slippers especially. you still tell me to wear teeshirt and shorts when you wore berms and loafers. we just hung around. and walked up and down :O cause i felt too awkward if we had just sat down to talk.
i was half holding back with him because i was afraid if i had left anything hanging with you. the "what are you doing crystal" feeling. your blessing had meant so much, i had no idea the extent, nor that i had even been looking for it in the first place. there was a part of me that was holding back because i felt that i had to let you know beforehand. to be fair. so that i won't get nightmares and won't have to worry if you'll be fine.
but you knew! somehow. all along ever since that mambo night when everything transiently met at a crossroad. how embarassing though. i had nooo idea the i had looked that overdressed, and its implications. hmm. ohwell. inthepastinthepast.
but recently you were so nice. and forthcoming. its as though you felt you no longer had anything to lose. i was extremely surprised when you said you were actually at the mrt station. like "pop" there you appeared out of nowhere. and you had waited for like what.. half an hour? deep down i was touched cause i had thought "come'on crystal, you're not that important pls -.-" so i didn dare suspect anything. i thought you had been out for supper or sth. but your appearance there just proved me wrong just when i was thinking who was i for ppl to do that anyway.
i'm so glad we had that meeting. even though initially i had doubts: ok this talk is not going to work out cause i dun even know how to start. maybe i'll just leave it to AFT you come back.
the procrastination alarms bells rang off; i knew i can't keep putting it off.
its like a knot in my heart that i've released. thanks steph for suggesting that talking face to face really would be better. it indeed is, i feel like i dun even have to pass him the msges anymore. and really certain things i'm just thinking too much:) nvr would have known if i had just passed him the stupid msges and left it as it is.
everything still feels the same between me and you:) just that now i know how to frame what i have between you and me.
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meeting you to study today. x)
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