Today is a major wake up call for you CRYSTAL!!
what have you been doing? feelings of uncertainty has gotten you nowhere.
it feels like a kick in the ass. pushed out of my shelter and cocoon. I wanna remember this feeling right here, right now.
i wanna harness this momentum to keep moving on till i get there to the next stage!! before i rot and die a novice weakling who finds herself giving up/letting go more than pushing on.
PUSHING ONN, HOLDING THE NEXT TILE, WORKING YOUR BRAINNN TO FIGURE THE NEXT MOVE. it felt good. i cud hold on if i want to. next up is getting myself to do it. this is it.
this energy, it feels enough to want to self mutilate. perhaps its this feeling that i've been abandoned and i'm on my own. i dun have to account to ANYBODY, but myself.
it first hit me like a feeling of abandonment. then he has given up teaching/coaching me -- i've been banished! out of his "family"
never have i felt this energy coursing through my system - to push myself.
of course reality is only so much as we perceive it to be.
when training ended, the release of emotion felt great. Hien was more than i thought:)
Crystal, you're on your own, and you wanna get there.
pls remember this multitude of feelings right here and now, what you're feeling, and this energy that is bursting out. its like a pin. focus it and it'll be able to penetrate and execute!
to burst into the butterfly before you wither and die.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Thursday, October 15, 2009
opens and novice training.
claudia says: you have to plan your route before going - know where your hand is going to go, and where your foot is going to step. every minute on the wall you have to know what you're doing.
i am reminded of what is mindfulness. to know what you're doing every second, every minute of being awake. this is called awareness, as i faintly recall being taught once.
today's training:
ARC
flash comp:
tsunami wall - felicia's route
Rhand-Rfoot match.
sun;moon wall - chloe's route(start on wall L of apex)
work on no foothold start. to Rside sloper on apex.
sun;moon wall - sandra's route(starts on Rside of apex) ** <- to complete
route planning blue "no. 8 shape" tile to purple jug.
sun;moon wall - claudia's route(starts on left side of wall)** <- to do last move
no foothold start, 2handholds start to Lside yellow jug.
lizard wall - yuxin's route * <- to do last move- no fear!
sandra was so encouraging and helpful here. what went through my head was : i can do it.
claudia says that i have to plan my route before going, and not go up the wall not knowing what's next.
last move:
LH yellow long tile, RH reddish brown tile with 2 nose holes(1 for fingers, 1 for the screw), LH TO BLUE SLOPER END. LF step. marissa&chloe did LH-LF match.
man wall - clara's route ( i like!)
Lcalf muscle cramped + Rlower back muscle cramped. while bridging to read RH red white sloperish dumbell shape tile.
38degrees wall - marissa's route*
work on starting move: crammed start. green sloper start with one foothold directly below. next tile a LH move, then a RH move
i came down from the wall, and claudia glares at me and tells me to sit in the corner for 20 mins because i didn read the route i.e. didn't know which is the foothold.
the way sandra does it. its an inspiration. i wanna be just like her.
clara makes ppl believe - if she can do it, so can you!
"go crystal."
i hear fel's voice.
i hear claudia's voice.
i hear doris's voice.
sandra there to help thereafter.
or marissa gives her advice; always there to help suggest the move.
today's
home regime ankle + calf muscles activating exercise. 8 on each leg.
tip toe squats. 8.
xin hui's scoop move. 8 on each leg.
=> being aware of activation of calf muscles to stick onto foothold!
next time @ the gym:
hand-foot matching, heel hooking.
progressively: no foothold start i.e. both foot smearing.
i am reminded of what is mindfulness. to know what you're doing every second, every minute of being awake. this is called awareness, as i faintly recall being taught once.
today's training:
ARC
flash comp:
tsunami wall - felicia's route
- work on Lhand-Lfoot match on green sloper start + RH pink crimp, LH to next tile.
Rhand-Rfoot match.
sun;moon wall - chloe's route(start on wall L of apex)
work on no foothold start. to Rside sloper on apex.
sun;moon wall - sandra's route(starts on Rside of apex) ** <- to complete
route planning blue "no. 8 shape" tile to purple jug.
sun;moon wall - claudia's route(starts on left side of wall)** <- to do last move
no foothold start, 2handholds start to Lside yellow jug.
- work on last move:
lizard wall - yuxin's route * <- to do last move- no fear!
- work on starting move:
sandra was so encouraging and helpful here. what went through my head was : i can do it.
claudia says that i have to plan my route before going, and not go up the wall not knowing what's next.
last move:
LH yellow long tile, RH reddish brown tile with 2 nose holes(1 for fingers, 1 for the screw), LH TO BLUE SLOPER END. LF step. marissa&chloe did LH-LF match.
man wall - clara's route ( i like!)
Lcalf muscle cramped + Rlower back muscle cramped. while bridging to read RH red white sloperish dumbell shape tile.
38degrees wall - marissa's route*
work on starting move: crammed start. green sloper start with one foothold directly below. next tile a LH move, then a RH move
i came down from the wall, and claudia glares at me and tells me to sit in the corner for 20 mins because i didn read the route i.e. didn't know which is the foothold.
the way sandra does it. its an inspiration. i wanna be just like her.
clara makes ppl believe - if she can do it, so can you!
"go crystal."
i hear fel's voice.
i hear claudia's voice.
i hear doris's voice.
sandra there to help thereafter.
or marissa gives her advice; always there to help suggest the move.
today's
home regime ankle + calf muscles activating exercise. 8 on each leg.
tip toe squats. 8.
xin hui's scoop move. 8 on each leg.
=> being aware of activation of calf muscles to stick onto foothold!
next time @ the gym:
hand-foot matching, heel hooking.
progressively: no foothold start i.e. both foot smearing.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
the after effects
i fell ill. and missed my bloody chemistry paper. the one which i spent 3 days studying organic chem for. had flu. fever. nausea. all that stuff. last sunday. its kinda also cause my sis spent 56 or so bucks on the doctor. and the mc. it got me ridden with guilt cause i might have just been as well off without seeing that old doctor.
he didnt even tell me exactly whats wrong with me. the only sensible thing he said was your throat must be quite painful. thats about all i rmb. and that i had a vein popping out of my neck. according to sis, he probably thinks i was just trying to "gegg" an mc. looks weird. ahaa. whatever.
on the topic of the JuneCommonTests, looks like i wouldnt be getting the training suspension since it was just meant to be a scare. can't wait to see whether it'll be the worse i've screwed up for an entire exam. but still i really hope i'll somehow pass.
and i'm balding!!!! aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. its no longer a figment of my imagination cause even my brother says so. and as he says, its because of all my late nights, and stress, and sth about hormones. the only consolation i have is at least he didnt notice it out of the random. he only said i was balding after he took a second look after i asked. apparently he was balding too after a period of time he kept staying up late when he was about my age. or sth like that.
AIK. i'd better start slping earlier..
brazil's out. england's out. :(
he didnt even tell me exactly whats wrong with me. the only sensible thing he said was your throat must be quite painful. thats about all i rmb. and that i had a vein popping out of my neck. according to sis, he probably thinks i was just trying to "gegg" an mc. looks weird. ahaa. whatever.
on the topic of the JuneCommonTests, looks like i wouldnt be getting the training suspension since it was just meant to be a scare. can't wait to see whether it'll be the worse i've screwed up for an entire exam. but still i really hope i'll somehow pass.
and i'm balding!!!! aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. its no longer a figment of my imagination cause even my brother says so. and as he says, its because of all my late nights, and stress, and sth about hormones. the only consolation i have is at least he didnt notice it out of the random. he only said i was balding after he took a second look after i asked. apparently he was balding too after a period of time he kept staying up late when he was about my age. or sth like that.
AIK. i'd better start slping earlier..
brazil's out. england's out. :(
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