maybe i should just go be a nun. ahhahahahahah.
christopher's 21st celebration yest. combined with karl's. same place as adam's. ahha. but block C#2. had fun deco-ing. tho damn tiring cause i think i'm damn OCD -.-
didn't stay. strange with ryan, jazreel and sabrina around.
but yet i stayed up till 6.30 am aft reaching home at 3 plus :O
sorting out alot of things i havent quite expected to. started off with writing of the msges onto the slips of paper for him to bring to aus. ( lw's idea (y) )
i wrote 17 slips i think. in total. ahhaha. started off as crap, then i started penning down my thoughts.
i'm still wary of the direction i'm going with t1.
afterall, that which touches the soul/heart is nothing more than a fleeting emotion right marcus low? ahhah. i wonder where in the world you had gotten that quote, and how you could stand putting it in your nick for since the start of time. but i seem to understand what it means now. had nvr quite agreed with it until now. random much.
the msges i wrote you. are really heartfelt. hmm. this friendship is worth sacrificing any risks or change in dynamics tt'll be present in a "bgr". nvr quite understood it till now.
we go way back and we have so much history. i just can't see us getting together. hahah. x)
platonic.
i hope what i've written doesnt sound too stupid :/ like the othr time over smses. that was damn stupid but i didn know any othr better way to put across what i wanted to say. or whether i should have in the first place but i've already done so anw. anw, how i've penned it across in words. i hope it doesnt sound too stupid :/
some things are hard to put it words. sounds so stupid. to clearly define things that do not have borders/boundaries/absolute definitions. i don't like it but i can't find a better way to tell you anw.
our frenship. it seems like its sth i hold close to my heart. or so i have come to learn.
t1. you told me i appeared in your dreams! hahaha. there are some things i just wanna tell you, but i can't.
i sat on the train yest on the way back home aft you alighted. and i spent the entire journey cancelling and retyping my msg.
cancel. edit. retype. cancel.
cancel. edit. retype. cancel.
it ended up as
"Thanx for a breakfast full of milk pan love! Hahah."
which im happy cause it conveys what i wanna say basically anw.
i just couldnt send it. doesnt make sense to i guess. even though it came up on my mind the entire day in school while we were tog. kept thinking its like no matter how lousy. cranky. pms-y. im just a freaking rebound kinda feeling why am i talking to you. i get in the morning, you just seem to make my day better one way or another or by just being there and your cheerful self. or how we laugh tog. or how you make me laugh and feel better abt school.
i'm just still worried. skeptical. suspicious. the duration from your breakup. its just not right. you didn seem to have had a proper buffer time. you had came to me for an avenue. an outlet? to talk things out. to HTHT. maybe its just that the cause and conditions had been placed right. it doesn't feel right. i guess time would tell, but i hate it when i say that.yo
u're so direct. i can't help but react the same way when i know that this. i dunno. i wanna ask you i can't. are you aware that you're rebounding; are you rebounding; are you waiting; have you given yourself buffer time; are you sure; do you know where you're going with this; ARHHH. don't play with my feelings. ahhahaha. even though i know you would nvr. im just not sure if you're aware. but maybe right now i should trust.
i should write you an unposted letter.
but i'm suppose to be doing work -.-
and i hate my post title. hahha
you dreamt me. you were bringing me around your band room which was like a maze with many rooms.
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